Tuesday, 8 August 2017

summer rain
swallows swooping
foot in a puddle

I submitted this following a 'when, what, where, prompt on 'sharing haiku knowledge' on facebook and receive the comment from Bee Jay:

"Usually a haiku contains one cut and two grammatical units. Your example reads like a list, unless you are showing us some swallows swooping somebody's foot in a puddle. Is that what you are showing us?"

Grateful to receive the comment I amended to:

summer rain
with swallows swooping
foot in a puddle


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